


sothis take the wheel

by PrinceWinter



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack, Custom Work Skin, Humor, M/M, Offscreen suggestive content, Please turn on work skins, background dimidue, chatfic, its rated T don't expect anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:09:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27030964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceWinter/pseuds/PrinceWinter
Summary: Sylvain: ya bitch is on a mission todayAshe: ???Sylvain: oh man you dont remember huhSylvain: well on god my good boy im gonna get you that assAshe: Um????--In which Ashe, after drunkenly admitting there's a guy he likes, is subject to Sylvain's ridiculous matchmaking.
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 10
Kudos: 129





	sothis take the wheel

**Author's Note:**

> pls turn on your workskins pls
> 
> Anyways, I wrote a fic like this for P5 awhile back and it was so much fun I decided to do it again. Who doesn't love a story about characters meddling in each other's love lives?
> 
> But yeah this is super dumb and not serious at all, so... don't expect too much lol

Ashe Ketchum  
online  
good morning sunshine  
hows the hangover treating you  
I'm ok, I drank water last night !  
ew how dare you be responsible  
I tried to get you to do the same, Sylvain !  
Do you need anything ?  
nope no time for self care  
ya bitch is on a mission today  
???  
oh man you dont remember huh well on god my good boy im gonna get you that ass  
Um????  


Felix <3  
online  
FELIX  
what.  
my beloved  
stop that.  
my dearest of dears <3 <3  
what the hell do you want.  
you remember the stuff with ashe last night right he drank like a beast.  
is he dead.  
no because he ~drank water~ how did a suburban white mom get reincarnated into a teenage boy he's 22.  
you know what i meant  
but you wanna know who doesn't remember?  
ashe  
oh well.  
but but but but  
if he doesnt remember then how are we going to fulfill our promise to him  
you mean YOUR promise to him.  
im not getting wrapped up in your idiocy.  
felix youre gonna make me cry  
sounds like a you problem.  
:(  
:'(  
ugh.  
you are such a pain in the ass.  
fine. what do you need me to do.  
:D  
well first things first we gotta figure out the mystery here  
who knows ashe the best?  
dedue.  
BINGO  
wuv you felix  
k.  


The Dedude  
online  
dedue my man  
Yes?  
you and ashe are pretty close right  
I would say so. We have been good friends for some time now.  
excellent  
random hypothetical  
if ashe were to, after becoming heavily intoxicated, start crying about a cute guy he wishes he had the guts to ask out  
do you have any idea who he couldve been talking about  
I'm starting to suspect this is another one of your schemes to set Ashe up on a date.  
it sure is Hm.  
I met him after class once for lunch, and someone approached us. A classmate of his, I think.  
And I worried he was about to pass out.  
oh no our poor sweet boy what'd the guy look like? He was thin with purple hair.  
To be entirely fair to Ashe, he was objectively good looking.  
ok i'll trust you on that even if your taste is questionable Hey.  
dont worry dimi's my bro i can tease him ...Fair.  
Anyways. I did not get his name. Ashe changed the subject after he left.  
I did not push it.  
darn you for being so polite

Ashe Ketchum  
online  
Sylvaiiiin ! !  
What are you doing ! ! :(  
i solemnly swear that i am acting in your best interests  
i will find your purple man  
SYLVAIN ! ! ! !  
just promise me that he is not the man behind the slaughter  
I don't even know what that means :(  
dont worry about it now come on spill the beans whos this handsome lad ill work my magic! Nooo ! ! !  
I think that's a bad idea, I mean I haven't talked to him in so long  
It was a shock he even remembered me...  
What did I even tell you while drunk ? :(  
wait wait wait what ok hold that thought

Felix <3  
online  
CODE RED  
what now.  
its not just a random hot dude  
i think he and ashe Knew Each Other  
and.  
and they were _childhood friends_  
and.  
felix i am weaving a modern fairytale romance ingrid is our childhood friend. doesn't mean we want to date her.  
'our' friend. and what does that make us, the happiest couple in fodlan?  
i want you to read over your message again but slower die.  


Ashe Ketchum  
online  
alright im gonna need some context  
you can leave this all to me  
i am a romance EXPERT  
I'm sorry but I don't think that's true, actually.  
OOF  
stop stop im already dead  
Sorry :(  
its fine i forgive you  
anyways tell me more about pretty purple man  
>:(  
:3c Okay fine...  


Felix <3  
online  
we're getting somewhere!!!  
stop texting me.  
make me  
...  
haha jk you are definitely capable of making me stop  
i am.  
youre lucky i like you too much to cut off your fingers.  
awww you like me? nevermind.  
FELIX NO

Ashe Ketchum  
online  
So please don't tell anyone, okay ?  
your secrets are safe with me  
Are they ? <:(  
yes!!!  
Okay...  
His name is Yuri. He was my friend when I was younger.  
But we kind of lost touch after he moved away.  
oh no  
And then at the start of this semester I realized he was in one of my classes  
it was meant to be... Shhh ! ! !  
I didn't expect him to recognize me, but he did.  
lemme guess, you also didn't expect him to be so pretty  
Ummmm  
Okay yeah you got me there.  
sylvain the psychic at it again  
Anyways, I just got a big messy crush on him...  
awwww  
It doesn't help that he keeps talking to me after class !  
And he started calling me his 'little sparrow'  
He even invited me out to lunch after class, but I already had plans with Dedue that day.  
But I think I hurt his feelings or something because he got about upset when I invited him to come to lunch with us.  
ashe oh my god  
I just can't tell if he likes me...  
ASHE...  
What ?  
HE WAS ASKING YOU ON A DATE  
HE IS BLATANTLY FLIRTING WITH YOU  
WHAT ? ? ?  
ASHE.........  
i never thought anyone could be denser than felix  
I don't know if it's flirting !  
im pretty sure it is dude!!!  
But you weren't there so how could you know :(  
ashe my sweet boy  
i am so sorry for what i must do  
Sylvain ! ! ! What are you planning ! ! !  


Queen Hilda  
online  
what is up my good bitch  
nothin much my good bitch  
as the queen of campus who knows everyone  
i need a favor  
ewwww  
ill write your english paper for you if you do it  
ok good deal  
wats the favor n do i have 2 get up 2 do it  
probably not but either way its for ashe and none of us can say no to him right? faaaair  
anyways. pretty purple haired boy named 'yuri', does that ring a bell? hmmm  
OH  
baltie has a friend like that!!!  
hell yea queen hilda coming through  
wat do u need  
a phone number maybe?  
ashe is hopeless and needs someone to flirt on his behalf  
LOL  
brb i can do tht  
ill just prtend i got pics of claude's mom  
briberyyy  
to be fair, claude is a pretty man  
he had to get those genes from somewhere  
reigans mom has got it goin on  
lol  
aight gimme a min  


Ashe Ketchum  
online  
im going to save your love life  
What ? ? ?  
just trust me my boy  
Sylvain please don't bother him :(  
oh you sweet summer child  
just trust me i got this  


Queen Hilda  
online  
lol it workd  
we can always count on balthus to do anything for milfs  
ya hes jus like that  
sendin the contact  
ur a peach  
use thes powers 4 good not evil  
you have my word  


Purble  
online  
greetings  
is this perhaps a very purple boy named yuri  
Depends on who's asking.  
ashes friend whos sorry hes so dense  
Then yes, I'm Yuri.  
Balthus gave you this number, eh?  
i will keep my secrets  
Smart man.  
anyways, down to business you got a thing for our sweet boy, ashe?  


Felix <3  
online  
the moment of truth has arrived  
if this blows up in your face im not saving you.  
can i at least hide from dimi and dedue under your bed  
because theyre definitely the buffest members of the 'protect ashe' club  
...  
fine.  
thank u luv u ...you too  


Purble  
online  
Adorably innocent and dense as a brick  
I winked at him once, and I thought he was going to drop dead  
Undeniably my type.  
hmmm...  
What? Gonna test me to make sure I'm good enough?  
oh 100%  
not just anyone is allowed to date ashe  
Heh. Fair.  
Well fine, random benefactor. I'll bare my soul to you.  
We used to be good friends as kids.  
so ive heard  
...are you really going to make me talk about 'feelings'?  
absolutely. how else can i be sure you won't do him and dump him? Alright, faceless stranger, but you need to promise me something.  
go on  
I tried to ask for his number and he ran off.  
If I tell you talk to you about all of this... then you'll help us connect, right?  
oh 100%  
Perfect.  


The Dedude  
online  
Ashe is texting me in a panic.  
You had better not be doing anything against his wishes.  
dont worry itll all work out!!!!  
Hm.  


Purble  
online  
I've honestly missed him, since we lost touch.  
And I'm glad to see he hasn't changed much.  
Still the same sweet little sparrow.  
awwwwww  
Are you some kind of voyeur?  
no im a matchmaker, a romance expert  
If you say so.  
Point being that no, I'm actually interested in him, not just some kind of quick lay.  
Though I'd love to see that cute little face make some interesting expressions, if you know what I mean.  
normally id approve of these kinds of comments but when its about ashe its weird Heh.  
But rest assured I know to take a guy out to dinner first. I like a bit of actual romance every now and then  
Problem is, I can't get him to notice that I'm hitting on him.  
oh don't worry i told him ...  
Has anyone ever told you that you're quite the nosy one?  
Which is a polite way of saying thanks, but now give me his number and stay out of our business.  
my work here is done Good. Thanks, Sylvain.  
np

Felix<3  
online  
well shoot an arrow in my ass and call me cupid  
what.  
its working out! i am a genius  
sure.  
now we just have to w  
wait  
what. WAIT  


Purble  
online  
HOW DID YOU KNOW MY NAME?  
:)  
oh youre slightly terrifying  
That's my specialty  
just warning you that theres an 'ashe defense squad' that is full of buff guys  
Uh-huh.  
and you cant seduce them because theyre dating each other I just know Ingrid, relax.  
Ashe is safe with me.  
good

Felix <3  
online  
and they all lived happily ever after  
alright.  
i got pizza and if you dont come over and eat it, i will.  
O SHIT  
omw  


...

Ashe Ketchum  
online  
good morning sunshine  
sooooo?  
how'd it go?  
It went well.  
well hey thats good  
wait  
no exclamation points?  
Ah.  
did he break your heart  
I didn't break anyone's heart.  
oh alright  
youll have to give me the deets later Alright.  
nice  
.  
wait  
YURI WHY DO YOU HAVE HIS PHONE?  
Relax, he's sleeping.  
WHAT  
Don't worry, I'm making him breakfast now.  
I am a gentleman :)  
alright fair  
remember: break his heart and ill break your legs  
Felix already gave me this talk.  
felix? really? i knew he cared deep down  
.  
wait why do you know my boyfriend  
Can't talk, I'll burn the pancakes  
bruh  


**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PrinceWinter15


End file.
